Earlier this week, something incredibly important happened: a weird food I am DYING to try appeared on the internet— Everything Bagel Ice Cream.
Now, to you , this may sound crazy, but I posit that is simply because you have not experienced the revelatory joy that is Laura Koenig’s everything bagel savory morning buns, for which she has kindly shared her recipe. I now have one animating goal in life and one goal alone: procure this ice cream and eat it with Laura’s savory morning buns. Until such time as this is possible, though, I will read and re-read Dames Pal Gabe Rosenberg’s hilarious and informative review of the ice cream and savor each detail anew.
Livetweet Announcement: Portrait of a Lady on Fire on Sunday, 2/14
Mais oui, mes amis! We Votre Dames will be hosting a special Valentine’s Day livetweet of Céline Sciamma’s gorgeous romantic drama, Portrait of a Lady on Fire. After fearing the movie could not possibly live up to my high expectations for it, I finally watched the movie on New Year’s Day 2021 (begin as you mean to go on, say I) and instead found it even better than I’d hoped. I wish so much that I had been able to see this one in theaters, but with your help, I can at least see it in community. The details:
When: 7:30pm ET on Sunday, February 14th
Where: With the hashtag #DamesOnFire on Twitter or in our Substack open thread (shared that Sunday).
How: Either streaming for free on Hulu, rented for as little as $1.99 on most streaming media platforms, or borrowed from your local library.
We gave you Christmas cheer that was actually cheering with The Muppet Christmas Carol in December, now let’s continue our Happiest Season Apology Tour by bringing you queer love you can really believe in.
Serotonin Booster Shot
Once again, it’s time to share some gems that you have shared with us via our Guaranteed Serotonin Booster
From Amanda Mc., self-proclaimed “Houston librarian and ne’er-do-well”, we have the following submission, about which she says
There is something hilarious about both Nunchuck Man’s complete oblivion and our narrator’s impromptu commentary. The Black preaching tradition produces some excellent rhetoric and here is a minor but memorable example.
Now that I can once again watch videos from the Obama Presidency without feeling completely bereft, Sarah Kaplan’s submission of Aretha Franklin’s performance of “Natural Woman” from Carole King’s Kennedy Centers Honors concert is, well, everything she says right here:
This video. What is there to say? We shared this earth with Aretha Franklin, therefore it can’t be all bad. Everything about it makes me happy: the audience mouthing the words, Carole King utterly losing her mind with delight, the coat drop! I watch it to remind myself of humanity’s capacity for beauty and celebration and sheer joy.
And, because it creates such an excellent transition into the meat of this week’s issue, I simply must share Christine’s submission of “Bad Mother” by Donzig (a.k.a. Bill McClintock):
Bill McClintock is resurrecting the lost art of The Mashup with delightful, surprising combinations on his youtube channel. I submit to you my personal favorite, a groovy mashup of Donna Summer's "Bad Girls" and Danzig's "Mother." I've opted to end each work week with a sidecar and a little living room dance party which I always kick off with this absolute banger.
Let’s all join Christine in this excellent tradition and grab ourselves a sidecar (or other cocktail or fun drink of your choosing) and dive into some DISCO HISTORY!
More Chic Than You Can Shake a Stic At
It is no secret that we here at Two Bossy Dames are Billboard-thumping evangelical fans of Chris Molanphy’s pop chart history podcast, Hit Parade. Many times in the virtual pages of this newsletter, we have sung its praises— while our favorites span from UB40’s strange journey to #1 with “Red, Red Wine” to Molanphy’s deep dive into Britney Spears, there is not a dud episode in the bunch. We even like the one about Weird Al Yankovich despite going into the episode not especially caring about Weird Al Yankovich. But, if there’s one thread throughout the show we love best, it’s Chris’s incredible episodes about disco, as Sophie herself so expertly stated on Twitter earlier this week:
Whether he’s taking time to establish Donna Summer’s critical role in the development of early electronic music and status as a pop-rock innovator or detailing the Brothers Gibbs’ lasting contributions to pop long after “disco” (and their band The Bee Gees) “died”, Molanphy comes to life when advocating for the central importance of disco in our collective musical history. He lays out his cases with wit, erudition, and the air-tight logical build of a truly great trial lawyer— he is, much like this kiss, undeniable.
And never has that been more true than in this month’s two-hour-long episode on the equally undeniable disco collective, Chic. You may not know the band by name, but you’ve both heard their songs and, almost certainly, danced like a fool to them (as I, Your Dame am doing presently, much to the detriment of my composition speed). Even if you’re familiar with the band, you probably have no idea just how massive their footprint on popular music has been. Reviving Diana Ross’s solo career, providing the backbone for some of hip-hop’s most important songs, both inspiring the post-punk New Wave then directly producing them, crafting Madonna’s sound— it’s truly hard to overstate how important Chic’s band leaders Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards were (and how fire the resulting playlist is). And yet, when I heard what garnered Rodgers his first Grammy award? Reader, I gasped so loudly that I nearly startled my roommate into dropping a plate. Bullshit does not even beGIN to encapsulate it.
Listening to this episode, I felt my brain turned inside out in the best possible way. I came up with a whole new angle for my keynote address on the value of appreciating derided art (book me for your library conferences, this talk slaps!). And, such is Chris Molanphy’s skill, that as soon as this episode finished, I wanted to simultaneously:
go back and listen to his earlier disco episodes
blast Chic so loud people started doing The Hustle thirteen blocks away
read Nile Rodger’s memoir, and
wrestle a grizzly bear with rockist tendencies
Instead, I have settled for raving about the episode to everyone in earshot (read: my poor plate-imperiling roommate) and writing this paean to it here. If you listen and, like me, find yourself hungry like the wolf for more, let me recommend:
Jesse Thorn’s 2011 interview with Nile Rodgers, which first introduced me to the breadth of his legacy
You’re Wrong About’s episode on the many fallacies of disco demolition night
The brand new Bee-Gees documentary on HBO Max, How Do You Mend a Broken Heart
Oumi Janta’s roller skating videos
And, of course, top it all off with a shirt announcing this essential truth: Disco Never Died.
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