Due to ~*~pollen~*~ and as a “put your feet up & enjoy your birthday” treat to dear Dame Margaret, Dame Sophie is flying mostly solo this week, so this is going to be a spartan, Bauhaus-y sort of issue, rather than the overstuffed chintz comfy wingback we usually bring you on Fridays.
We are taking next week off, BUT NEVER FEAR:
We’ll be back with a full issue on Friday, June 5, darling readers!
Accurate representation of your dames, daily.
Name Science, Revisited
Shake your name thing, yeah, yeah!
So many of you tweeted us with your delightful alternate universe names this week that Dame Sophie thought she detected some fellow genuine name nerds in our readership, so what's a cultural curator to do but offer yet more resources for your own personal rabbit hole?
Nameberry: developed by Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkranz, the team behind Beyond Ava & Aiden (the first version was Beyond Jennifer and Jason, which tells you how long Satran & Rosenkranz have been working this beat) and Cool Names for Babies, which Dame Sophie totally consulted when she was pregnant 10 years ago. Their Namehunter feature is an amaaaaazing time suck, whether you're baby-crazy or just, you know, find names fascinating.
Parenting blogger Swistle offers great baby-naming advice. She's kind and nonjudgmental, and very sane, which is exactly what I think frazzled parents need. Her archives are well worth a read.
The Baby Name Wizard Voyager is a fun deep dive into Social Security Administration data, and lets you compare the popularity of your name with similar names (Sophie vs. Sophia, for example) over time.
Along the same lines is this Name Age Calculator, which informs us that both of your Dames' parents had a thing for subverting the dominant paradigm, because the average ages of people named Sophie and Margaret are 5-16 and 50-74, respectively.
Ladies We Love
Living the (walking away from an explosion in slow motion) dream.
Jessica Hopper. JESSICA HOPPER, GODDAMN. Dame Sophie developed an instant crush on Jessica Hopper, EIC of The Pitchfork Review, when she was Rembert's guest on his podcast a few months ago. Now, her book, The First Collection of Rock Criticism By A Living Female Rock Critic, is out, and she's been on tour and giving interviews (read that one, immediately) and we are just beside ourselves at how smart and sharp and fearless and ferocious she is.
Kesha seems like she's in a really good place. She is rocking out with HAIM, so how could it be otherwise? No, we are definitely not wiping away a tear of happiness for the woman who brought us Tik-Tok, why would you even think that?
Nicki & Bey. A true inventory of the number of times we’ve watched this video could land us in crazy fan territory, so let’s just say we admire it, and them, a great deal and leave it at that.
Bad Blood, Annotated. Did you miss a cultural reference in this video? WaPo has you covered!
This Week In Unquenchable Thirst
Look at this unrepentant murderer. Sir, how dare you?
Nearly Naked Neville. Look, these photos make it clear who the REAL child of the prophecy was. Phooooar.
In honor of Dame Margaret's 30th trip 'round the sun, Dame Sophie put together a day-long GIF party on Twitter, featuring many of the birthday girl's favorite fellas, who you, too, can revisit any time, starting with Gene Kelly. May we recommend the well-deployed Hiddleston eyebrow? Or perhaps the John Cho self-deprecating humor? He is almost too charming for us to bear.
Fassbenderrrrrrr. Dame Sophie is waiting impatiently for an X-Men spin-off, Magneto: Deadly Suave Nazi-Hunter that would basically just be Fassy strutting imperiously around the globe in an endless string of impeccable suits, on the hunt for Nazis & dispensing metal-controlling justice at least once per episode. Come on, you know you’d watch the HELL out of that. Here's to a 6-episode run in 2017!
Finally, also in honor of Dame Margaret's birthday, damespal Laura shared this image of the peerless Eartha Kitt, and we are just prostrate before her glamour.
We Believe The Children Are Our Future: Commencement Season Highlights!
(Ed. note: The above is totally sincere, by the way. As a Young Old, Dame Sophie is enjoying the happy second tweendom of her life, with enough life experience to give (she hopes!) useful advice to those seeking it, and with enough perspective to relish learning from both her elders and from those who are just coming up in the world. She genuinely loves the Actual Youngs, and this is not merely a crass attempt to avoid being trapped in this hilarious, yet chilling, Millennial Revenge Fantasy.)
Via Dame Sophie’s chum Nicole, the pure joy and pride in these 45 Photos of Black Graduates will make you smile, cheer and tear up.
Joe Biden at Yale, Aviators firmly in place throughout. We expect nothing less from Uncle Joe.
Stephen Colbert, balancing silliness & sincerity at Wake Forest. We’re sorry to bid farewell to his luxurious beard.