Or, alternately, because the Internet appears to have decided that Rachel Dratch's hilarious turn as a Russian prostitute from S1 of 30 Rock is too sad to gif....
HAPPY GALENTINE'S DAY!
Soooo, last week, we invited you all to join us for our live-tweetng of Moonstruck, but then we flaked and forgot to tell you when & how & where all this would be happening. So let’s get our Miss Manners on and furnish you with all the details you need to have fun commenting on & quoting one of our favorite slightly hammy but full of heart romantic comedy. No need to RSVP, just show up (or drop in if that better suits your schedule)!
Date & time: 2/15/15, 8:30 PM ET!
How: Stream it from Netflix! Or watch it on DVD, if you're lucky enough to own it/unlucky enough to not subscribe to Netflix.
Follow #moonstruck and tag your tweets with same to join in on ~all~the tweety fun!
NOW! With all our manners squared away, let's stare at some handsome men so long that they become uncomfortable....
Imaginary Boyfriend Updates: In Which Our Lustful Female Gazes Survey The Land, Like The All-Seeing Eye of Sauron, But In A Sexy Way.
The Chrises Evans and Pratt visit sick children, win hearts everywhere.
Donald Glover attends the Grammys, sends humans with eyeballs to their fainting couches.
That last video inspired the following text conversation, transcribed here for your benefit:
Sophie: WHY MARGARET?
Margaret: You just watched the Concord Museum video, huh?
Sophie: YES. HOW DARE HE?????????
Margaret: I KNOW!!!!!
HAVE SOME PITY, YOU MERCILESS FIEND
BE LESS EXCITED ABOUT HISTORICAL THINKERS
LOOK LESS OUTLANDISHLY HANDSOME IN YOUR PLAID SHIRT
Sophie: KINDLY REFRAIN FROM ENTHUSING ABOUT AMERICAN INTELLECTUAL HISTORY ON CAMERA.
THINK OF THE CHILDREN, CHRIS
OR THE PEOPLE WHO USED TO BE CHILDREN & WHO NOW LUST AFTER YOU
Margaret: THE WOMEN WHO NOW LONG TO BEAR YOUR CHILDREN BUT ARE NOT ABLE TO.
Sophie: THE MEN WHO WOULD LOVINGLY TEAR THAT SHIRT FROM YOUR BRAWNY SHOULDERS
BUT WHO CAN’T BECAUSE THEY ARE NOW DEAD
Margaret: DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD
Sophie: ALL DEAD
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, CHRIS?
In short: Chris Evans, sir. SIR. We must ask you to cease & desist all devilishly charming history enthusiasm, particularly while looking so toothsome on camera in that buffalo plaid shirt of yours. KNOCK IT OFF (just kidding please record more of these at every obscure local history museum in America also call us, Dame Sophie has a WHOLE MILE of insufficiently famous museums in Doylestown, PA she's just dying to show you)!
Twee as Hell
In Japan's Miyagi Prefecture, there is an entire island that serves as a dedicated fox haven, complete with a Shinto shrine to Inari, the deity of wealth, prosperity, and rice, for whom foxes are thought to be messengers. Dame Margaret and Dame Sophie are already there, in their hearts.
Musical accompaniment to these pictures? Obviously “Fox in the Snow” by Belle & Sebastian.
A sheep that thinks it’s a dog. A real-life Shaun the Sheep!
Ok, this claims to be a real-life Grand Budapest Hotel, but on reflection, it’s more like a kitsch dystopia than a twee heaven. Kitsch & twee have quite a bit of crossover (though their Venn diagram would not be a circle), so we include it here. Even if we're both confident we could do a FAR better job paying tribute to Wes Anderson's aesthetic than these designers did.
Mimi Kirchner’s tiny woodland fabric creations WHAT EVEN I WANT TO GO TO THERE.
All We Need is Loving You & Music, Music, Music!
Dame Sophie did not think she could love Future Island’s song “Seasons (Waiting on You)” more deeply, but then she heard this 60s Motown-spy-loungey remix and changed her mind. Wow.
New music from The Alabama Shakes!
HAIM killed it this week, first by joining #MashupMonday supergroup Morris Day and the HAIM on one of Dame Sophie’s favorite songs ever, “Jungle Love”, and then by taking their Stevie Nicks fandom to the next level with Calvin Harris in the video for “Pray To God” (which...if someone doesn’t remix this “Edge of Seventeen”-allusive song with the actual “Edge of Seventeen”-sampling “Bootylicious” immediately, we will riot in the streets. Kindly get on that, DJs of the world.)
Weekly vintage bus passes from Milwaukee, 1930-1979: Such joie de vivre! God bless those designers, and the person who digitized these bus passes. Things like this make us so grateful for The Internet, and reaffirm our enduring love for America’s great 2nd-tier cities. And they make Dame Margaret feel sliiightly less abashed about the MBTA Combo passes from summer 2000 that she still carries in her wallet to this day.
Classic National Enquirer covers-- WHICH movie star WAS HAPPIER AS A BEATNIK? And which one tells why SHE SWEPT THE BEATNIKS OUT OF HER LIFE? Only by clicking through will you ever know!
Tired of only seeing pink, glitter & rainbows in the girls’ clothing section? Check out the Princess Awesome Fashions Kickstarter!
What the Happiest Woman in the World Looks Like, according to Mallory.
A History of Conversation Hearts. U ARE SWEET.
An excellent, entertainment-oriented argument for why Marvel should forget Peter Parker and give us Miles Morales instead. Also, here is Kevin Feige’s regular reminder from us that a Black Widow or Storm movie would be great, thanks!
AND FINALLY! Beautiful genius Alyssa Rosenberg on the REAL fantasy presented in FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.