Maybe I’ll Slide Into Your DMs...
Greetings Dames Nation from Norwich, England and Brooklyn, New York!
We are Emma Fraser and Fawnia Soo Hoo, two freelance writers, TV (and film) fanatics and costume design nerds. We actually became friends remotely before remote communication was even a hot thing; back when pandemic was just a movie that our Netflix algorithms would never recommend. We’re honored to guest edit this week’s newsletter from our locked-down homes and thank you, Margaret and Sophie, for this opportunity. We’re so excited to share our love of everything pop culture with you all and give newsletter writing a go in a lead up to our own upcoming project. Yes, you heard that here first. We hope you all are staying safe, healthy and supported by friends, family and your favorite content during these times.
May we introduce ourselves ...
Fawnia: Last year actually marked a decade for me as a freelance writer and journalist, which was a complete career change after being laid off from a soul-sucking job during the Great Recession. Well, here we go again, but I’ll stick this one out because the past 10 years have given me an invaluable opportunity to grow from a fashion and beauty writer to finding my own niches. I explore costume design for the big and small screen — interviewing Sandy Powell, Ruth E. Carter and Paul Tazewell are career highlights — and the dynamic bridal industry. I was raised basically by TV (and devoured celebrity and entertainment magazines as a kid), so I also jump for opportunities to interview talented actors, musicians and athletes. I’m a Contributing Editor at Fashionista and freelance life is a hustle, so my bylines also include Vogue Business, Nylon, Glamour, Elle, Vogue International, Vulture, The Cut, InStyle, Brides, Refinery29, Teen Vogue and Racked (RIP). I prefer Instagram over Twitter.
It is hard as a freelance writer, especially one who actually enjoys her work, to separate personal and professional pursuits — meaning TV (or streaming) also counts as one of my “hobbies.” I’m a Forever Teen, but British murder mysteries are my favorites to truly unwind (and turns Emma’s father-in-law and I share an affinity for Midsomer Murders and Agatha Raisin). My other preferred pastimes — enjoying new restaurants, seeing friends, traveling and taking group fitness classes — are currently on hiatus, but at least I have Netflix, right?
Emma: When I first started my now (defunct, thankfully) blog to write about the costumes of Mad Men, I didn’t think I could ever turn this into a full-time career. Last year, I proved past me wrong and did just that. After years of juggling freelancing with the job I started when I was in my third year at university (working in a cinema), I took a leap on myself. The essay I wrote for Girls on Tops about Sally Bowles goes in The Enduring Appeal of Sally Bowles: From Liza Minnelli to Schitt's Creek to how Schitt’s Creek (a show Fawnia recommended to me) aided this decision and is pretty indicative of how powerful the arts (no matter the format) are. As with Fawnia, my niche is costume design (my second blog TV Ate My Wardrobe is dormant but still exists) and my first paid regular gig was a weekly costume column for Observer that gave me the opportunity to interview icons including Ane Crabtree and Ruth E. Carter, as well as going to Paris for the day to the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (I still pinch myself about this). Since then you can find me regularly writing about genre at SYFY FANGRRLS, as well as bylines at Vulture, Elle, Little White Lies, Primetimer, Racked(RIP), and Collider. I spend far too much time on both Twitter and Instagram.
One of the things we jokingly say to each other a lot is “watching is working,” because even after doing this for years (including a Masters in film and TV) it is something I have to remind myself of. Sure, not all TV and movies are work but even the shows I don’t set out to write about often filter into my writing (see Schitt’s Creek, which I have now written about a lot). In terms of hobbies, reading is something I wish I had more time for (especially as I love buying books and my to read pile is huge) and I am using this time indoors to tackle that — currently enjoying David Rakoff’s excellent essay collection, Half Empty. Otherwise, I am also changing my habits to match our circumstances. Going to the pub/restaurants has turned into a virtual happy hour, the weekly pub quiz is now being done over Zoom. We are adapting the best way we can and thankfully technology gives us the means to do so.
Fawnia: Great segue into how we “met,” maybe two years ago. We follow each other on Twitter and Emma DM-ed me, not to ask advice, but to talk through a writing question, which we all have on a regular basis. As free agents working in solitude at home, we don’t have that team environment for spontaneous brainstorms, so it’s easy to feel isolated when questions arise. After that we started emailing daily (while concurrently trading DMs on multiple platforms all day) for support, encouragement and excuses to procrastinate. Even on-staff, constantly pitching (successful and not), chasing interviews, writing and receiving edits often brings out self-doubt and insecurity. Never mind, the super specific creative personality’s penchant for constantly comparing oneself to others — and coming up short, or so it always feels — especially in the social media era. Sure, as freelancers, we may be pitching the same outlets — or even writing about the same subject (which happens pretty often!) — but we really rely on each other as virtual colleagues. We cheer each other’s successes and talk each other up out of our (frequent) deep self-doubt spirals, too.
Emma and I also share other forms of content to stay motivated and entertained, like illuminating movie and TV BTS, life-changing shows to watch (Babylon Berlin and Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries for me, Schitt’s Creek for Emma) and podcasts. So many podcasts, from true crime (well, pre-pandemic anyway) to the Crooked Media portfolio to Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert. Mr. Kristen Bell (and not Ryan Hansen) has a knack for getting his subjects to engage in honest, enlightening and often lol conversation. I often think back to his interviews with faves Kumail Nanjiani and D’Arcy Carden for reassurance and inspiration. Without giving too much away — Emma still has these waiting on her to-listen queue — Nanjiani reminds us that it’s OK to admit you excel at one form of your craft more so than another. (And he’s doing just fine.) Carden looks back at a time she questioned her readiness to face a challenge, which is something I do every other day — and then email or DM Emma. Wait, why don’t we use Gchat?
Emma: Whether MSN Messenger (going old school) or Gchat, I find the conversation format to be a little anxiety inducing. I think maybe because I didn’t begin using MSN until way after my friends, so I always felt slow in my typing/response speed. For some reason, DMs are less daunting to me – except for the initial first time. This is how our friendship began with me sliding into your DMs! And I remember being super nervous because while we had exchanged a few tweets, I wasn’t sure what the etiquette was. Typically, I am a bit timid when it comes to approaching people in the business and have learned over time this is the way connections and pals are made. You aren’t going to achieve much sitting silently on the sidelines and while I still suffer a bit from this sense of not wanting to bother someone, I am definitely more forthcoming than I used to be. Also, we did hang out in person when I traveled to New York last spring. Who knows when we will get to do this again — though we did recently introduce our husbands to each other over Zoom.
There is this old-fashioned idea often perpetuated in movies and TV that women are each other's rivals in a professional capacity, much like the Highlander there can only be one. However, this is clearly not the case and as soon as I realized there are enough pieces of the pie for all, my life improved. Having a support network rather than rivalries is preferable — especially in freelance with the lack of office buddies. And I also think it makes me a better writer because we do bounce ideas back and forth, developing pitches that began as a passing observation on a DM.
The self-doubt is a constant part of the roller coaster and I know I have benefited hugely from our daily DMs across platforms and emails, in which we discuss whatever shows we’re watching, celeb gossip and work related victories and anxieties. Working from home (even before this all went down) comes with a lot of benefits, but it is easy to feel isolated and that is often when the self-doubt begins to form. Feeling connected is important and as Fawnia mentioned, podcasts of varying types is something we share with each other. I’ve only listened to a few of Dax’s but the ones I have heard reveal even the most accomplished people share these moments of not feeling enough or they experience social anxiety (the Keri Russell and Ronan Farrow ones are two of my faves).This meme is also very accurate with how I feel about the regular pods in my rotation (see also Sarah and Michael from You’re Wrong About and the Crooked Media team), though I have been listening less now I am stuck in my house.
So while podcasts have become harder to squeeze into my rotation with less walking over the last month, I have found myself tuning into way more Instagram live “events.” Every single time I open this app (which is way more than I should) there are so many live Stories taking place and it can all feel a bit too much. However, there have been some very informative (like Fawnia’s chat with Tan France!) and soul invigorating ones. In the week leading up to the Schitt’s Creek finale, different members of the cast and creative teams did different themed nights to raise money for Food Banks Canada and Feeding America. Doubling the original $100,000 target, “Schitt’s Creek Gives Back” included Annie Murphy in character teaching the dance to banger “A Little Bit Alexis,” Noah Reid taking song requests, Moira’s glam squad (aka Lucky Bromhead and Ana Sorys) giving wig and makeup tips, and Catherine O’Hara revealing the secrets behind Moira’s unique vocabulary. One moment that really stayed with me, which is relevant to this chat is during Dan Levy and Emily Hampshire dishing out friendship advice, they talked about supporting friends and how this pandemic has reinforced the notion of (virtually) surrounding yourself with people who lift you up. Everything is terrible right now but there are some positives to take out of this including the meaningful friendships we have (whether on the same continent or not).
Speaking of Schitt’s Creek, the final season just finished *sob* and it was a bright spot in this bleak landscape. When I was asked by LA Times TV editor Matt Brennan to write up my recommendation for lockdown viewing, this show was my first choice. The message of love, kindness and tolerance is an important one (seethis very emotional letter from the documentary that aired after the finale) and Dan Levy has already made a huge mark on TV (and the world). One story that we continually talked about over email was how Alexis’ career and love life was handled. SPOILER ALERT Alexis began Season 6 planning to go to the Galapagos Island to be with her boyfriend Ted, who was on work placement. After a flight mix-up, her trip was delayed and long story short, her career took off. Rather than picking a man over her dream job (looking at you Rachel Green), Alexis and Ted had one of the most devastating and beautiful break-ups ever depicted on TV (I am tearing up just thinking about it). This shift toward love not being the be-all and end-all is important and feels more authentic too. Sure, some people make sacrifices for love, but I applaud this narrative choice. It hurt but it made sense (and if there is ever a reunion episode who knows where they will both be). “I am continuously impressed by you,” is what David tells Alexis in the finale. I have been thinking about this line ever since because this is how I feel about this character and Annie Murphy’s performance. I need her to be a HUGE star after this. Tell me your thoughts and feelings on this trend! I know you have some other good examples.
Fawnia: Yeah, as much as I love Alexis and Ted together, breaking up was the most beautiful fairy tale ending for them. They helped each other become the best versions of themselves, but still needed to grow on their own and not hold each other back. It was the perfect breakup, even if I’d love for them to reunite in three years — when Ted joins as top researcher at The Earth Institute at Columbia University in New York City, where Alexis runs her own thriving entertainment PR firm — for the Schitt’s Creek movie that I’m trying to manifest. In the meantime, I do love this trend of female protagonist storylines not culminating in the ultimate goal of a relationship (usually with a man) — and across generations and life stages.
In the aforementioned Agatha Raisin, Ashley Jensen (Emma’s husband’s TV crush, btw) plays the titular retired London PR pro who decamps to a quaint Cotswolds village, populated by Gilmore Girls-style local characters. On a path of new self-discovery, she pivots her talents to solving way more crimes than a tiny hamlet should have. In the season three finale — SPOILER ALERT — she chooses to continue her flourishing second career as a private detective over traveling the world on a book tour with her landed gentry boyfriend. It felt especially refreshing to see a financially independent, successful woman, who could reasonably throw caution to the wind to follow a man, still choose to focus on her own growth, even if she’s already made it. And, of course, Emma’s father-in-law and I want a season four. (I also appreciated how the season focused more on Agatha’s relationship with her Cotswalds fam, who seemingly have unlimited free time to work bro pono as assistant PIs, over her romantic life, too.)
Over in New York City on the Gen Z end of the spectrum, Katy Keene began the series, plucked from the source material, on the receiving end of a proposal from her high school boyfriend, K.O. Working as an assistant at a legendary department store, Lacy’s, she aspires to become a fashion designer and, like many of us in the industry in NYC, essentially performs multiple jobs climbing the ladder. SPOILER ALERT: In the third episode, and speaking of Rachel Green, K.O. basically pulls a Ross at an important work event for Katy. In my least favorite Dr. Geller moment, of which there are many, he shows up unannounced at Bloomingdale’s, where Rachel is working late in her dream, chance of a lifetime assistant buyer job. Then Ross almost sets her desk on fire with an impromptu “romantic” picnic. Never, ever show up at your girlfriend’s work; It’s desperate, thirsty, unprofessional and dismissive of her career. Katy realizes she needs to go “on a break” (sorry), which felt pretty liberating so early on in the season — and for a soapy teen show-spinoff, which thrives on romance storylines.
As I think back to my own teenage and early 20s-ish — or “young adult,” as they now call it — self, I wish I had those examples and narratives to reference. Also why I continue to watch current teen content, which features more relatable and complex female-focused storylines and stays on the forefront of diversity and inclusion (see: grown-ish, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Euphoria). Plus, teen TV (and movies) make for another fun subject to discuss at length with Emma.
Emma: If I can pinpoint the moment in which I realized TV was something I wanted to write about, it was the summer I first saw My So-Called Life when I was 14. I was having a bit of a terrible time and Angela Chase made me feel less alone. A character like Rickie Vasquez paved the way for LGBTQ representation and teen shows are often pioneering in this way (see Euphoria). Entries in my journal were mostly about MSCL, which is the first time I wrote about TV in a personal capacity. Little did I know that I would end up doing this for a living (and subsequently get paid to write about MSCL). Revisiting old teen faves can point to some of the flaws and shortcomings, including what a terrible character Xander is when it comes to his behavior in Buffy the Vampire Slayer — the ultimate nice guy trope. Because of streaming there is, of course, a lot more options with the kind of teen shows available.
My recent highlights include the horny murder teens of Elite (this show is bonkers in the best way), Euphoria, Sex Education, I Am Not Okay With This and The End of the F***ing World. One notable aspect to mention is how these shows either lean into the social media aspect using Instagram to add texture to the plot or they exist in a time warp which negates this part of our lives. Shows like Sex Education, Riverdale (also bonkers and enjoyable), Chilling Adventures of Sabrina and I Am Not Okay With This all have a retro aesthetic that mostly avoids technology. The days of Bing trying to become a thing via CW shows are thankfully over. In part I think this is down to the age of the creative teams — the I Am Not Okay With This creator said the Breakfast Club episode was done through the lens of the Dawson’s Creek’s Breakfast Club episode (a personal fave!). Nostalgia fuels the soundtrack and costume choices, which means a new generation has reference points that have been fed through a pop culture blender (which I don’t think is necessarily a bad thing). No one does Halloween episodes quite as well as the adolescents of television both past and present. Maybe I am drawn to these shows because the creative teams are a similar age to me. I just binged Pen15 (thanks for the rec, Fawnia!) and it is the perfect encapsulation of how adolescence is a creative goldmine. I also love how teen shows use spaces like the bathroom within the high school location; it is a blend of public versus private in the most overt manner (also, as soon as you notice one show does this you will soon realize that all teen shows do this). I am also aware that my low-key obsession with this observation began with MSCL. Everything comes back to Angela Chase for me.
Fawnia: I remember a few years before my mom passed and she was recovering at home in between treatments. I’d visit and she’d be watching a rerun of What a Girl Wants (my favorite Colin Firth) or a teen drama, which my adult self also loves. I asked her why she enjoyed those stories so much. “Because everyone is so good looking and there’s always a happy ending,” she said, which basically sums up my addiction to The CW. (I mean, Archie did recover from the bear attack on Riverdale, right?) Of course, there’s that viscerally cringe-y teen awkwardness (see: PEN15) and feeling of not belonging, whichremain relatable and universal — even if middle school was decades ago. It’s also comforting to revisit that unique and special time in your life when you have that tight knit community of ride-or-die friends you live for — and maybe even solve crimes (Veronica Mars) or vanquish demons (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) with. All the feelings and relationships feel so pure and not dragged down by the mundane responsibilities of adult life, murderous local authorities and vampires notwithstanding.
I’ve written about this before (and spoke to Elle France about it), but teen shows across the board also have the best fashion when it comes to story-telling costumes. Think: Beverly Hills, 90210, The O.C. and, I keep mentioning, grown-ish, which has the most designer-filled closets since Gossip Girl. Costume designers, like Michelle Cole and Eric Daman, inventively use fashion to help express each character’s distinct personality and storyline. The often heightened and designer label-filled wardrobes also feel wonderfully aspirational — not only in the actual style we want to cop, but also figuratively in having that confidence, adventurousness and optimism, whether you’re an actual teen or a grown-ish-ass woman.
Grown-ish is the way to be!
Two Bossy Dames is brought to you by:
Last week’s edition of Lovett or Leave It, featuring heartwarming front-line stories from teachers and mental health support from psychologist Dr. Ali Mattu, plus GOAT Megan Rapinoe and a really good hot fiancé reference.
The That Thing You Do! Watch party, which reunited the Oneders (as Fawnia says “oh-knee-ders” in her head) to raise money for MusicCares and celebrate the life of Adam Schlesinger.
Need a new movie watching project with a sartorial twist? Costume designer Whitney Anne Adams is embarking on a viewing journey focusing on the Best Costume Design Oscar winners. She also plans to discuss nominees and snubs (including Eiko Ishioka’s mind bending work on JLo’s The Cell). Join her in this trip back through time!
We appreciate you, readers of Dames Nation!
Every time you tell a friend to subscribe, some woman, somewhere, finally has time to watch that one show everyone is talking about EXACTLY when they’re talking about it.
Help us build Dames Nation by upgrading to a paid subscription on Substack
Share your saucy opinions with us on Twitter whether jointly as your @twobossydames, or in single size servings as @MrsFridayNext & @sophiebiblio!
And! You can catch Bossy Extras on Tumblr.