Memory Lane & Sumptuous Bathing

Something for everyone!

Greetings, Dames Nation!

Welcome! Don’t go home hungry!

Your Dames come to you once again with an end-of-week variety pack of oddities and insights. Enjoy the smorgasbord!

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Dame Sophie’s Linky Stroll Down Memory Lane

Every so often I like to take some time to revisit what I’ve written about in the past. It’s rarely surprising – the things I’m interested in have been pretty stable over time – but it is always illuminating to be reminded of what I was sufficiently invested in during a particular week to write about in these pixel pages. 

A little stroll into the past

With archives going all the way back to October 2014 (!!!), there’s always something worth dredging up, polishing, and setting back on the table to take a look at with fresher eyes. Here’s what I’ve collected by spelunking into our February issues from 2015-2020.

In 2015, I was thinking about a couple of my favorite newer-to-me songs of the moment:

You may recognize “Les Cornichons” by Nino Ferrer as the sonic grandaddy of Quincy Jones’s immortally groovy instrumental “Soul Bossa Nova” (aka the song over the delightful, A Hard Day’s Night-inspired opening credits of Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery). Ferrer’s version is basically a recitation of various foodstuffs in a gravelly Mahna-Mahna voice, in French. In other words, it is perfect, and if you’re listening to this song, you are doing a mad frug around whatever room you’re in. 

 The Rushmore soundtrack is close to perfection, but I’ve always been a little disappointed that Donovan’s “Jersey Thursday” didn’t make the final cut. In the context of the film, It’s the song that plays as Max Fischer, at his lowest ebb, lights a bonfire of leaves and gives Headmaster Brian Cox the finger:

Whomst amongst us has not felt this exact feeling deep down in our marrow? Perhaps on a daily basis, hmm?

In 2016, I was mourning David Bowie and coming to grips with the fact that in addition to being an excellent artist and person in many ways, he was also A Man, and a pretty flawed one, at that:  

Jia Tolentino sifted through the troubling details of David Bowie’s history with former teen groupie Lori Maddox. Of course, even the term “groupie”, which is so gendered & sneering, is part of the problem. What term do we use, in this era of highly engaged & accessible teen fans & Internet culture creators? Do we just say “fan”? I feel like that doesn’t capture the power imbalance that is the source of so much of the problem. 

This piece is a must-read for so many reasons, including Tolentino’s recontextualization of anti-sex 80s feminism as a logical response to the rapey dystopia that followed the Free Love of the late 60s. Everything Tolentino writes about here is in dialogue with Karina Longworth’s amazing season of You Must Remember This on Charles Manson’s Hollywood. I just can’t stop thinking about this in particular: “It is less easy to turn over what Maddox evinces in this narrative, from the late 1970s to her account of it now--which is that women have developed the vastly unfair, nonetheless remarkable, and still-essential ability to find pleasure and freedom in a system that oppresses them.” Plus ça change.

In 2017, I was waiting with bated breath for the return of The Americans, still one of my favorite shows of all time. Rewatching the teaser trailer for the season that was about to air that Spring, the concentrated intensity of it highlights the show’s marriage of expertly executed spy thriller tropes and prestige-iness. Truly, chef’s kiss. If this has whetted your appetite to rewatch, or watch for the first time, The Americans is included with Prime Video and is available for rent or purchase on several other platforms. While you’re considering your viewing options, be sure to enjoy this brilliant video re-cutting “Sabotage” to footage from the series. Revel in the wigs, people, revel in them!

In 2018: I was thinking about how we need room in literature for everyone to be quirky, not just cute indie rock-loving white characters. A perfect example can be found in The Way You Make Me Feel, a novel by past TBD guest editor Maurene Goo. It’s about an unlikely friendship between a cooler-than-thou Korean-Brazilian prankster and a seemingly uptight Black ballerina, thrown together when they both go a teensy bit overboard at their Junior Prom. Clara & Rose are prickly, smart, funny, and soulful, and if you haven’t already fallen in love with them, you will.

In 2019, I had a little O My Prophetic Soul moment while thinking about loss. As we head into Year Three of a global pandemic, chances are good you’ve experienced the death of someone important to you, or know someone who has. Obviously, the first thing I’m going to do is direct you to a special issue of TBD guest edited by Kat Chow & Jessica Reedy, on this very subject. Are you back? Ok, great! Since her stint as a Visiting Dame, Kat has published – to universal acclaim – Seeing Ghosts, a memoir of her and her entire family’s experiences grieving the unexpected death of her mother. 

It can be so daunting to talk about loss, because it’s painful, and because American culture strongly favors being relentlessly positive and assigns a negative moral valence to things like grieving “for too long” or experiencing depression as the result of grief. I saw a Facebook video about the work of grief expert Megan Devine’s a few months ago and then found her full website, which is comprehensive without being overwhelming, an approach I love. This overview for helping someone coping with loss is so full of care and practical kindness, it makes my heart swell. The main thing I keep coming back to is that whether the griever is you or someone else you care about, everyone needs space held for them. Acknowledging someone else’s pain isn’t the same as taking it away, but it’s a true act of compassion & love.  

In 2020, I was thrilled to learn that Great British Bake-Off quarterfinalist Benjamina Ebuehi had published her first cookbook, The New Way To Cake. Her enticing, unexpected approach to flavors is still making my brain light up with possibilities two years later. I also loved this interview— conducted by fellow distance-going GBBO alum Ruby Tandoh— in which both women reflect on the strange ways the show treats its contestants of color, with an off-putting combination of simultaneously elevating them while giving them very awkwardly exoticizing edits. Improvements since then have been inconsistent, at best, with contestants from South Asian backgrounds performing quite well (yay for the great Rahul, Crystelle, and Chigs!) and most Black contestants being eliminated early on. Even Hermine, a major talent from Season 11, made it to the semi-finals, but was booted after winning Star Baker the two previous weeks because she took one risk that didn’t quite pan out, even though her overall performance that week was easily as strong as her remaining competitors’ was. Hmph!

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Dame Karen’s Ode To Hygiene YouTube and Bath & Body Works 

A customized bathing experience? Don’t mind if I do!

I haven’t had a bathtub in many, many years and I’ve never had a tub big enough to really sink into with bubbles up to my chin, Julia Roberts singing along to Prince in Pretty Woman style. Despite this, I love baths and I love smells and have always been the person to spend a bunch of time smelling all the homemade soaps at the flea market or craft fair and buy an obscenely overpriced shower gel (looking at you, Bathing Culture, with your “Cathedral Grove” scent and your dreamy fresh-from-the-redwoods situation.) I’ve even planned vacations around amazing bathing opportunities--how you doin’, Iceland? Pre-Covid, the extremely fancy and honestly Nine Perfect Strangers-esque Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA opened their cliffside hot springs tubs to the random, mostly naked public from 1 - 3 AM on weekdays and I went—twice. If someone provided me with a time machine, I’d absolutely be off to 1976 as an adult rather than a tiny baby to attempt to infiltrate the staff of Wet: The Magazine of Gourmet Bathing.

All of this is to say that it wasn’t completely out of left field when my new Covidtimes hobby became Hygiene YouTube. There truly is an extremely specific and complex subculture out there for everyone and everything and thank goodness. I learned about Hygiene YouTube via Candle YouTube, specifically the work of Drew Yauch, who has been talking about candles on the internet since he was a precocious child. Drew works at Bath & Body Works and somehow in the wee hours of the usual insomnia and ennui-induced YouTube binge, I discovered that there’s an entire world of massive Bath & Body Works fans out there. (This Bustle article from 2018 is a good overview and see also this 2020 one from Retail Dive.) I hadn’t really thought much about BBW since the days of Sun-Ripened Raspberry (RIP!!!) but I love to listen to people who are really knowledgeable about oddly specific things. If you want to know what I’m talking about, may I direct you to Bonnie’s channel Queen of the Girl Geeks and Tina Marie’s channel True Meaning of Radiance? I’ve always wondered why my nieces and friends’ kids like watching “haul videos” of toys and now I get it—it’s absolutely mesmerizing and both Bonnie and Tina Marie are funny, conversational, warm, and frank. It’s like watching a talk show on which the only topic is shopping for things that smell good. 

To top it all off, Bath & Body Works has ridiculous sales ALL OF THE TIME. Twice a year they put a bunch of stuff on SEVERE sale and you can buy “fine fragrance mists,” lotions, shower gels, scrubs, on and on for less than $4 each. A lot of their stuff smells like baked goods, which are not my favorite. I don’t generally want to smell like, say, pumpkin pecan waffles, but let me tell you a little story about the magic and power of scent. Bonnie’s “desert island scent” happens to be something called Strawberry Pound Cake, the scent notes of which are “fresh strawberries, golden shortcake and whipped cream.” I ended up getting a spray/lotion/shower gel set during last summer’s Semi Annual Sale, thinking my eight-year-old niece might like it. Well, curiosity and boredom got the best of me and I tried it out and to my delight, it smells exactly like the Strawberry Shortcake dolls of my youth. Before 2021, maybe I didn’t want the sensory experience of enveloping my body in the scent I associate with huffing the plastic heads of my favorite childhood toy, but here we are, and pass the Strawberry Pound Cake!

This brings me to my other Hygiene YouTube fav—themed body care/shower/hygiene routines. Ash of Living Ash, who was featured in the above-mentioned Retail Dive article, is perhaps the gold standard for these. Ash specializes in “fresh and clean” scents (soapy, laundry, linen, citrus, bergamot, marine, ozone, crisp as opposed to sweet fruit…you get the picture. Some of these notes are called “Hesperidic” after the Hesperides from Greek mythology, swoon.) In fact, I think it’s generally understood that Ash’s ongoing rave-ups regarding the short-lived BBW cult fav White T Shirt finally led to them bringing the scent back again?! (I got the fine fragrance mist, it’s great.) Check out Ash’s recent fresh and clean shower therapy video in which she lays out the, yes, fresh-smelling products she’s using while she talks about creating your dream life. [CW: she does talk a bit about weight loss, which is not my favorite topic, but it’s brief, and it didn’t ruin the rest of it for me. YMMV.] Another fav YouTuber is Catherine of Self Care Catherine who recently did a nice, meditative rose-scented shower routine for Valentine’s Day. (Apparently Hygiene TikTok is also extremely active and passionate but I continue to only know about TikTok via other platforms, so I can’t speak to this!) 

So yeah, I still don’t have a bathtub, but I do change up my scrubs/shower gels/lotions/sprays with just about every shower and I have a few Bath & Body Works recommendations. BBW is constantly coming out with new scents, taking some away for the season only to bring them back with new packaging the next, and randomly discontinuing others, but I don’t think any of these are permanently gone. They have yet to bring back MY old-timey fav Sun-Ripened Raspberry, but you Cucumber Melon, Warm Vanilla Sugar, and even Japanese Cherry Blossom fans are in luck!  

Bonfire Bash - Every time I wear this, the five people I see on a regular basis tell me I smell so good. It’s been my fall and winter standard and just when I think I’m ready to move on, I keep coming back to it. It’s not in stock now but will be back soon, I am sure. “Vanilla bourbon, creamy sandalwood and cashmere musk.” Almond Blossom is a similar vibe--warm, sweet, cozy, and gourmand without being full-on HELLO, MY TORSO IS MADE OF GINGERBREAD MAPLE PANCAKES.

Eucalyptus Tea - From the Aromatherapy line which periodically has really lovely scents that incorporate my beloved and misunderstood patchouli without being wild Ras Trent stank bombs! This one, on the other hand, is aggressively clean and simultaneously uplifting and relaxing and smells way more expensive than it is. “Eucalyptus oil (clears the mind) and tea extract (calms feelings of uncertainty).” [I wish.] The candle version of this is also A++.

Sea Island Shore - Bracinggggggg, light white florals, salty zing, and a little traditionally men’s cologne-esque in the best way. “A fresh blend of clean cotton, orange blossom, blue freesia and ocean musk.”

In The Stars - Slightly old timey and glam, apparently a dupe for the very expensive Baccarat Rouge 540? I don’t know; it’s woody and musky and a little louche and sometimes I wear it along with some red lipstick to sit on the couch and watch TV and dream of doing other things at some point. “A sparkling blend of starflower, sandalwood musk, sugared tangelo, white agarwood and radiant amber.”

Never buy anything from BBW at full price. They have sales ALL THE TIME and regularly offer buy two get one or better yet buy three get three free deals. You can also get on their mailing list and get coupons—what a rush! It turns out you can be really into things that smell good and not be a total snob about it. I didn’t know!  

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Two Bossy Dames is brought to you by:

• Academy Award nominated composer Jonny Greenwood on how he faked it til he made it as the keyboardist in a band that eventually became Radiohead. Never, ever give in to imposter syndrome! Also his score for The Power of the Dog is great, what a perfect marriage of visuals and sound.

• The gorgeous, extremely detailed art-and-textile-illustrations-in-icing by a British academic (link is to the Washington Post). It’s oddly moving to see someone develop an entirely new creative hobby that brings joy to others, due to the pandemic.

• The struggle to wait patiently for Season 4 of Formula 1: Drive To Survive to arrive (on March 11) and drop a trailer, maybe (nothing as of this writing, it’s fine, it’s fine, whose foot is tapping? surely not Dame Sophie’s!!! weirdly, rewatching the S3 trailer is not helping, but science may never know why)

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