Welcome to the Bossy Lodge! Readers, we dames are going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, two cups of good, hot black coffee, paraphrasing an adorable speech from Agent Dale Cooper, or a whole bunch of really great internet links....like these ones right here.
Ok, We Are Still Totally Stuck on Fall Being A Thing
So, Sophie saw a dead bee sadly spread-eagled on the top slate step at her local library and it made her think of that most elegiac of all end-of-summer songs, "Boys of Summer", because that bee was totally her Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac. [Here is where the rockists make for the exit. Byeeee! Two Bossy Dames is a poptimist newsletter! [[Related:Have you heard the new Stars album?!? -- M]] [[YESSS AND IT IS TRANSPORTINGLY PERFECT. LOVE. -- S]] And so she got to thinking about how much she loves that song, and in the course ofdiscussing it with some pals on Twitter, she realized that, actually, it is the myth of Orpheus & Eurydice in pop song form. Search your feelings, you know this to be true.
Then!Friend-of-TBD Renataunearthed this Tori Amos cover ofBoys of Summer, which is an absolute treasure, and which sent Sophie down a 90s rabbit hole involving a very intense re-listen ofUnder the Pink. You may remember that Trent Reznor lent some guest vocals to a track on that album, but did you know that Merry Clayton (glorious destroyer ofGimme Shelter) is the guest vocalist onCornflake Girl? Let this be a reminder to everyone to watch (or re-watch) the great documentary about background vocalists,20 Feet From Stardom. Notionally related, here is a list of other great lady singer covers we've been loving lately, in order from most to least Autumnal:
Meet (if you haven't already) America's Side-Mulleted Stand-Up Sweetheart: Cameron Esposito!
Of late, Margaret has been on a MAJORYou Made It Weird with Pete Holmesbinge. This podcast is not for everyone-- its weekly episodes are often 2+ hours long, Deepak Chopra comes up so often that Holmes calls him by the more familiar "Deep Chopes," and Holmes's braying guffaw has been known to grate on some. But if you're an inveterate eavesdropper and semi-professional rubbernecker like Ms. M. Hulahoop Willison, then Holmes's extremely open and in-depth interviews with comedians (and actors and musicians) about comedy (their careers), sex (their relationships), and god (their religious or spiritual beliefs) will utterly engross you.
A great example of the show at its very, very best isthis interview with Cameron Esposito, where she speaks about her journey from dating the star quarterback of her conservative Catholic high school to being a rising stand-up engaged to a woman with the charmingly apt last name of "Butcher." Then, as this brief taste of Cameron is sure to be an insufficient dosage, mosey over to Bandcamp to hear and buy her terrific new stand-up album SAME SEX SYMBOL(released on Tuesday), take a gander atLinda Holmes's smart examination of what makes this album so special, and read some of Cameron's excellent writing:
"Two Comics Walk Into a Bar" - On getting engaged to her fiancee, Rhea Butcher
"You're a good-looking girl...I want to attack you." - On experiencing street harrassment
Now you can join me in praying that she gets a book deal and right quick! #BossyDamesNation, we can make this happen!
Deep Thoughts Corner
Over at The Hairpin, Emma Heaney's essay "Stories Like Passwords", on the dynamics that allow abuse to flourish in small communities, is a must-read:
Other stories [shared among women at a writer's retreat] were less definite, edged in doubt: An editor who had tried to turn a professional relationship into a personal one, a writer who had sent a few too many weird emails. A coworker who couldn’t quite take no for an answer in person, but who never stopped retweeting and reposting articles about feminist issues online.
If you listen to enough stories like this, you’ll start to hear a few themes. These men are not ever that big of a deal. What they do to us is never really that bad in the grand scheme of things, no matter how big it feels at the time. It could always have been much worse. We might just have been misreading the situation. They might not have meant anything by it. They’ve never apologized – but then again, we’ve never asked them to.
The men in stories like this always have just enough power, in their little worlds and in ours, that to confront them would be to court an ordeal, to invite others to question our own memories and motives. It’s always more trouble than it’s worth. If you don’t have hard proof, if you don’t have a police report, then what do you have? Only what you remember. Only what you felt.
Further Thoughts on Mullets and Poptimism Plus Also! Paper Dolls!
Vulture created a Robyn paper doll; All hail Vulture!Her fem-mullet game is almost as good as Cameron Esposito's:
No meditation on paper dolls would be complete without theobituary of Tom Tierney, who for most of the 20th century simplywas paper dolls. Princess Diana, Michelle Obama, Jackie Onassis, Cher, and many many more, he designed them all for Dover Editions. Should you want to slip further down the rabbit hole, thishistory of paper dolls from Collectors Weeklywill send you merrily on your way.
This Week's Visual Crushes!
Sebastian Zimmerman's portraits of shrinks in their offices. Equal parts therapist shopping (could I emote on that couch?) and interior design inspiration (Such! Artful! Clutter!).
All Things Must Pass, Alas!
Timehop reminded Sophie of that time two years ago whenYankee Candle Companyintroduced new scents to itsMy Favorite Thingscollection ofSound of Music-themed candles. Scents included Bright Copper Kettles, Warm Woolen Mittens, and yes, Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With Strings. A brief perusal of the YCC website this week reveals that the My Favorite Things collection is no more, but some cheeky candlemaker nostalgic for long, lazy afternoons spent mainlining MTV in the mid-90s has gotten away with creatingNovember Rain. Inhaling its "airy, refreshing mix of watery leaf notes, warm amber and crisp, brisk air" will instantly transport you to Stephanie Seymour's mullet-style wedding gown or Slash's epic guitar solo. (I shipped them in that video, didn't you? Like, the guitar solo is totally a solo of romantic loss and regret, Slash's"Layla"coda, right? RIGHT?) None of the other scents seem to refer to hair-metal hits, but we can hope.
Unrelated to Anything Else Herein, but Delightful To Us & Therefore Maybe to You, Too
538 did a statistical analysis of animals in alphabets books because of course it did. Elizabeth Donnelly revealswhy Gilmore Girls is secretly a Twin Peaks tribute show, and you can send official missives on letterhead from the office of theMayor of Twin Peaks.Buzzfeed on Stichfix's attempts at a Netflix-like algorithm for style for ladies. Laura Ruby lets fly, hilariously, at the recent spate of alleged thinkpieces on how, one way or another, ladies who insist on infantalizing themselves by taking books for children & teens seriously are definitely to blame for the End of Real [er, Male] Culture. GOSH, ladies, get it together, will you?? Matthew Perpetua makes a solid case forfeeling bad for Tricky. And we all feel bad about the way, way too-early passing ofMs. Jan Hooks. Sophie may have thrown her phone down on the counter in rage-grief when she read about it last night. Let's all hoist one high in honor of theSweeney Sisters' immortal Christmas bells medley, shall we?