Pick-Me-Ups With No Side-Effects
Greetings, Dames Nation! Before we get to this week’s main selection of Internet delights, we wanted to announce that we’re going to be scheduling a couple of movie livetweets this summer, and we’re handing over the selection reins to our paid subscribers. We’ll send out a link to a Google Form in the next week to get some ideas, and then we’ll choose from your list of suggestions. If you want to throw a viewing suggestion in the ring, the button below is for you!
OMG This Is So Funny and/or Joyful Round-up
Just some things that have managed to improve our outlook for at least 15 consecutive seconds every time we encounter them. This is a precious and rare quality and everyone deserves to have at least that increment of joy every day! Multiple times daily, if possible!
Dame Sophie’s Cavalcade of Chuckles (Mostly)
First up, Jakhara Smith/Sailor J’s Contouring 101 video. It’s not her first (it was the second or third of a series of maybe extemporaneous, maybe somewhat scripted, definitely hilarious and razor-sharp videos) but it’s an early masterpiece in her body of work. I don’t think a description beyond that can do justice to its unhinged yet incisive brilliance, and it’s well worth watching for her impeccable line delivery on “If the men find out we can shape-shift, they’re going to tell the church!!!”, alone. It’s so over-the-top yet frighteningly accurate that I find myself repeating it on a surprisingly regular basis, and although it’s certainly bleak, it’s also very bracing, which is the overall vibe I’m feeling about the world in general these days.
In the same vein of things that must be seen to be understood and whose delight -production capabilities could be damaged by my amateurish attempts to explain why it’s funny -– it’s absurdist, and joyous and silly, there, I tried, hopefully that won’t ruin it! -– I present Chris Fleming and I’m Afraid to Talk To Men. He’s like if Weird Al had a baby with Hank Green. When he describes himself as a fruity turkey vulture, I feel that in my marrow.
Animals doing weird, chaos-producing things that you can tell they take very seriously even as they make you double over with laughter so intense you can count it as a pretty decent ab workout is one of my favorite genres of media. Hobie the Crime Cat is in my upper pantheon of deeply earnest and professional critters doing ridiculous things, long may he reign!
The perfect intersection of silly songs and cats doing very serious cat stuff can be found in this extremely catchy and earworm-worthy little ditty that delves into both home remedies for insomnia and Egyptology. I’ve watched and sung along with that video countless times, and only just now noticed that its creator (@kevinjamesthornton) is wearing a t-shirt featuring the yip-yip Martians from Sesame Street. I think that explains pretty much everything about him and his whole deal.
A finely-wrought family dramedy encapsulating sibling solidarity (funded by sex work, which is only alluded to, not depicted), the mom making excellent points at top volume, and a duck, somehow? I do not want to know anything else at all about ANTHONY and his generous spirit, except perhaps for how he trained his duck to sit in his little carseat. All other information about this family should remain unknown to me, lest the magic of this one episode in their lives be tainted by reality.
Now that my beloved Philadelphia 76ers have exited the NBA playoffs, I am in the process of transferring my affection and support to the Milwaukee Bucks, whose star player Giannis Antetokounmpo loves to hold little karaoke parties in his car, singing along with wild abandon to One Direction. Elite athletes! They’re just like us!
As you may now, it’s currently the done thing to preface your comments about a famous person you have the hots for with “Respectfully”. I hypothesize that this supercut of every time Richard Madden says “Ma’am” in Bodyguard is an ancestor of that trend, due to both its content (in essence, “respectfully” on a constant loop) and (respectfully) to Richard Madden’s face.
Dracula Daily combines several of my favorite things: serial storytelling, engaging with works in the public domain as an alternative to the rapacious gobbling up of IP by a tiny handful of monopolizing corporate entities, and maybe best of all, literary analysis in the wild. Dracula is an epistolary novel set between May and November, so when you sign up for the newsletter, you receive emails of the original text from that day.
For example, I’m writing this on May 13. Yesterday, I received Jonathan’s diary entry from May 12 about Dracula’s peculiar interest in hiring multiple lawyers and his equally peculiar ability to climb down the sheer face of his castle in the manner of a lizard. That alone is weird and fun, but Dracula Daily gets even better when you enjoy the original text alongside the commentary its readers are publishing on Tumblr. This is an English teacher’s dream: readers are engaging with a text, analyzing and commenting on it, in some cases creating visuals inspired by what they read, contradicting the text itself in order to think through the subtext. Readers with deeper knowledge of 19th century technology are explaining how Kodak cameras were the hot item for affluent young folks like Jonathan Harker, while train enthusiasts of the era are providing useful context about Dracula reading a British railway timetable for funsies all the way out there in his Transylvanian castle. Just super normal genuine human behavior! It’s also often so funny, I mean just spectacularly, absurdly silly. What a gift! If you want a little more detail about the context of this most unexpected Internet book club, this piece in the Daily Dot is a good place to start. (Also! The adaptation of Dracula in the gif above is the 2020 BBC miniseries starring Claes Bang. Yes, that’s his real name! It’s a good 20% better and more fun than it needed to be, and is streaming on Netflix, should you find yourself in a completist mood!)
And, finally, for no newsworthy reason at all, a perfect Dirty Dancing fanfic, wherein Baby Houseman grows up to be a lawyer fighting for reproductive justice.
Dame Karen’s Truckload of Titters
The best hockey GIF of all time really needs no other explanation.
In 2012, the 4th of July fireworks show in San Diego had what was apparently a malfunction but in reality was the best possible outcome when someone accidentally set off all of the fireworks at once. This is my favorite available video of the proceedings because it splices together the views from several different locations, including one in which “We Will Rock You” plays ever so faintly and plaintively in the background, which never fails to make me scream. [Warning: It’s VERY loud!]
It feels like the entire internet is Like This now, but Kittens Inspired By Kittens remains a stone cold classic. “I’m her mom! No she’s not!” forever!
Patti Labelle performs “This Christmas” is a classic for a reason. I got to introduce my parents to it Last Christmas and it really reminded me what a complete package of accidental comedy it truly is. Where WERE the background singers?! When “Hail To The Chief” finally comes on, it’s just the cherry on top. “So nice to see you.”
More proof of Patti Labelle’s comedic genius and flawless timing opposite the always flawless Ashley Nicole Black on A Black Lady Sketch Show. One time I was REALLY sad and watching this and cried when Black finally sings her “On My Own” part.
I Want You Back - my friend put this on a few months ago when I was in the depths of despair and it proceeded to evoke actual LOL after actual LOL. (The entire movie, not the trailer, mind you, ok, thanks.) It’s on Amazon and I apologize for that but it’s just scene after scene of pure delight, sends up romantic comedies while also paying homage to them, and features an all-star, relentlessly funny cast, including Manny Jacinto who is occasionally shirtless.
I freaking love when anything gets ridiculously self-referential -- just picture me as that Pointing Leonardo DiCaprio meme forever. I’m really into everyone suddenly giving The Nanny its due, especially since it contains two of my all-time favorite LOOK HOW META moments. On an episode that also unexpectedly co-starred The Brian Setzer Orchestra, Fran Drescher brought her Bobbie Fleckman character from This Is Spinal Tap to The Nanny. Does Maxwell marvel at how much she looks like Fran? Does Fran get jealous and decide to impersonate Bobbie Fleckman in order to test him?! Does a Loehmann’s label play an important role in all this?!?! I think you know. No “Smell The Glove” references, sadly. The show topped this when Fran Drescher and Fran Fine met during yet another madcap caper inspired by Nanny Fran’s irrepressible jealousy and proceeded to discuss the ratings stunts closing out the season of The Nanny. Eat your heart out, Charlie Kaufman.
Joe Pera Discovers The Who - Pure joy. A perfect introduction to Joe Pera Talks To You but works as its own delightful scene.
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Welcome to the wonderful world of Giannis! He also loves to tell dad jokes. I love him so much. I hoped for a win in MKE tonight, but back to Boston!