Where You Lead, We Will Follow Up
Dames Nation, we come to you today with a question, and with some answers. How do you feel about voluntary following up? Not as in “I better send that post-meeting follow-up email”, not so much do you enjoy it, more like how do you approach it? We often find ourselves in a “spirit is willing, (eager, even!) but typing fingers are suddenly weak” situation and would very much like to learn some new ways of getting beyond it. Tips, tricks, tools, we are all ears.
100% relatedly, since we offer to furnish follow-ups pretty regularly but then find it difficult to do the mental legwork, and are often at a loss for where to put them once they’re in hand, this week we’re bringing you a whole round-up of follow-ups to the issues we’ve published in 2022 so far. Enjoy!
If you’ve read this far, chances are good you’re going to read the rest. And if that’s the case, you probably value this newsletter generally. And if THAT’S the case, we’d love for you to hit that subscribe button! Your $7/month (or $70 per year, a 16-ish% discount) helps us pay for all the wonderful sources of delight we draw on each week to bring you the most interesting cultural treasures (and, of course, our scintillating insights about them). As always, thank you all for reading!
2 kool 2 B 4-gotten: Ronnie Spector & Andre Leon Talley, Of Blessed Memory
It’s Been A Minute with Sam Sanders devoted an entire episode to paying tribute to ALT. Sam is in conversation with Saeed Jones and Zach Stafford, both of whom wrote amazing memorial essays, as well.
Queen of Music Ranking Caryn Rose broke down Ronnie’s best songs for Vulture; update your playlists accordingly.
And! In actual great news, Ronnie finished revising her long out of print biography Be My Baby just weeks before she died, featuring a forward from her reciprocally beloved Keith Richards. Will the upcoming Zendaya-starring biopic feature a section on the very dreamy-sounding brief romance b/t Ronnie and Keith that turned into a lifelong friendship?! And who would play young Keith?!??! Lines are open for your dreamcasting enjoyment!
Unsurprisingly, Dames Nation had thoughts about this one! Tis the season of so many of our lives. Several readers recommended Heather Corinna’s book What Fresh Hell Is This?: Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You. Their website has a great online resource page that was down when we did the Perimenopause issue but is back and better than ever. How do we know? It includes the line “the 2021 film Barb and Star Go To Vista Del Mar is not about and doesn’t even mention menopause, yet is still somehow a menopausal Muppet movie, except people are the muppets. I don’t know how they did it, but they did.” YES. Barb and Star forever.
We also received some questions about hormonal IUDs and how they may affect perimenopausal symptoms. If you’re a Dames National who has or has had a hormonal IUD and can speak to this question, let us know! We can put you in touch with the readers asking about this.
We keep turning over in. our minds this very thoughtful reader response: “For an infertile person like myself, and probably for lots of other folks (the childfree by choice, the childless by circumstance, trans men and enby and genderqueer folks, people with various medical/physical circumstances, etc.), this isn't the "end" of fertility. It's something I'm still unpacking my own feelings around, but definitely worth keeping in mind -- and something that reminds ME that there are probably ways *I* talk about menopause (and menstruation, and gender, and everything else) that are alienating to *someone* and to be vigilant about that. So thank you Dames and Dame-adjacent friends, for being open and compassionate and vigilant about this conversation! ”
And! Another reader shared this encouraging view from the other side of menopause: “Sex got better after menopause. Probably a combination of no more fear of pregnancy and greater feelings of intimacy with my long-term partner (lucky in that respect). And lube. Everyone needs lube! ”
Pam & Tommy
Both Dame Sophie and Dame Karen have been open about our enjoyment of Pam & Tommy, but Pamela Anderson’s refusal to be involved and her staunch position that its existence is traumatic to her casts a long, dark shadow over the talking penis/great soundtrack/trashy flashy fun. We do note the show’s attempts to defend and humanize Pam, and the fact that five out of eight episodes are directed by women, but the “look, guys, Pam was actually smart!” moments are often clunky and ham-handed. All of which is to say we’ve watched every episode and also we’re very glad to see that Pam will be co-producing – with her son, Brandon Thomas Lee – a documentary of her own for Netflix. We are very ready to hear and see Pamela’s Version and we hope everyone else is, too.
A new episode of Dunzo! is out, featuring Claire and Ashley from the Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast (episode 225). Dame Karen has said it before, and will say it again, no one is on Troy McEady’s level when it comes to breaking down and thoroughly examining 21st century pop culture shenanigans. This episode really gets into “the Tommy Lee of it all” and how he’s really not the fun-loving, surprisingly sweet, and slightly misdirected guy who Sebastian Stan give us for much of Pam & Tommy. It’s significant that Tommy Lee has spoken positively about P & T – the miniseries portrays him as Pam saw him in the heady, early days of their short, passionate relationship, and there’s not much evidence to suggest that Tommy has enough self-awareness to appreciate the distinction.
The Case For Method Man’s EGOT/For Your Reconsideration In General
Thank you, living legend Ellen Barkin, from those of us who needed to know how good Method Man smells, and wanted confirmation of what we knew in our hearts: the man is a mensch. We are deeply disturbed by the following: what poor foolish misbegotten nincompoop dared to suggest directly to Method Man’s most excellent own face that he, Method Man, relies too hard on his beard, facial hair or no facial hair?! [I mean, via a series of now-deleted tweets, but close enough.] Repent of your ignorant ways at once! At! Once!
Note the date and the rarity of the occasion: we don’t have anything further to add on this subject at this time. Of course, we’d love to learn what your follow-ups are, so sling ‘em if you’ve got ‘em!
Bath & Body Works is having a Buy Three, Get Three Free sale RIGHT NOW, which is the only time you should buy anything from them, not counting the Semi-Annual Sales, and also their $10 off 3-wick candles specials.
Queen of Servicey, Perfume, and Small Luxury Twitter Rachel Syme’s Bath Oblivion playlist is a real treat, whether or not you’re soaking in a not-too-hot but still slightly steamy tub with a delightful paperback of dubious quality.
Dames Nation was INTO this issue. We received a bunch of enthusiastic emails and tweets about delicious treats you purchased for yourselves and your beloveds, and each one put a joyous song in our hearts. We’re pleased to share that Nuts To You is offering 20% off their Irish Potatoes through March 12. They offer exactly two sizes: ¼ lb. and 4 (YES, FOUR) lbs. We love and embrace this go big or go home energy. If you bought something inspired by last week’s issue, and are inclined to share, we would simply love to know more about it.
Two Bossy Dames is brought to you by:
Rihanna setting a new standard for doing THE absolute most during this pregnancy, and good for her!
The relentless hilarity of Key & Peele’s classic Continental Breakfast sketch
This week in enchanting basketball tidbits: Steph Curry’s Peak Cute & Corny Dad specific handshakes for all of his fellow Warriors. Please take a close look at the final one and try to tell me you didn’t instantly imagine a whole evening in which he & his teammate were watching Bollywood movies together & teaching themselves the dances
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For date-specific follow-ups, I'll write it directly in my planner on that day, like if a friend is having surgery. I really need the visual reminder, no matter how much I'm sure I'll remember to check in with them that day, and something about actually writing it down makes a big difference. I do the same thing with work-related followup, if it doesn't make sense for it to be a task in Asana.