Something that helps me, now and through myriad griefs big and small: I try to access expansiveness. This is not to try to make the grief small or meaningless. Rather, this is to make space for the grief, for the feeling, for the intensity. Expansiveness allows the feeling to be as big as it needs, as long and as heavy and as painful as it genuinely is. It allows me to feel like I can bear this feeling, I can sit with this feeling and hold space for this feeling, and not be overwhelmed with the pain of it, nor be beaten into despair and inaction.
I get to this expansiveness with meditation (which I recommend! but which I am aware is not something everyone wants or is able to pursue). But I think that expansiveness can be gotten to without any formal mediation, with thoughts and mantras like "look for the helpers," "this too shall pass," "if you're going through hell, keep going," or whatever will allow your broken heart to unclench around the present agony. Remember that you are bigger than the grief, however immense the grief is; WE are bigger and stronger than the grief, we are many, we are mobilizing and educating and organizing. This is for now but not forever. You are not alone.
Something that helps me, now and through myriad griefs big and small: I try to access expansiveness. This is not to try to make the grief small or meaningless. Rather, this is to make space for the grief, for the feeling, for the intensity. Expansiveness allows the feeling to be as big as it needs, as long and as heavy and as painful as it genuinely is. It allows me to feel like I can bear this feeling, I can sit with this feeling and hold space for this feeling, and not be overwhelmed with the pain of it, nor be beaten into despair and inaction.
I get to this expansiveness with meditation (which I recommend! but which I am aware is not something everyone wants or is able to pursue). But I think that expansiveness can be gotten to without any formal mediation, with thoughts and mantras like "look for the helpers," "this too shall pass," "if you're going through hell, keep going," or whatever will allow your broken heart to unclench around the present agony. Remember that you are bigger than the grief, however immense the grief is; WE are bigger and stronger than the grief, we are many, we are mobilizing and educating and organizing. This is for now but not forever. You are not alone.
Thanks for the book suggestions! Your newsletter is always a delight. And the collection of Judith and Holofernes - spot on!